


My Love, He Comes In Black. My Love, She Comes In Red

by i_amthecosmos, magdalyna



Series: The Gangster Series [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, First Time, Forced Prostitution, Genderfluid Harry, M/M, Murder, Violence, gangster au, gangster zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:56:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/magdalyna/pseuds/magdalyna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn doesn't think he's worthy of anyone's love. Then he meets Harry at the massage parlor he works at. In the same universe as The Last of the Famous International Playboys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Love, He Comes In Black. My Love, She Comes In Red

**Author's Note:**

> Another case of me started a new fic when I am blocked on other ones. This is another RP done by me and magdalyna. I'd like to thank the People on YouTube that made 80's new wave music mixes, it helped.

Harry drove Zayn’s car as they went to the place. It was a late-night call, almost two in the morning, but something like this couldn’t wait. Zayn had his hand on her knee as she drove, until they came to the place. It was the dirty basement of a building owned by Louis. When they got there, Niall was waiting on them, nodding as they came in.

“I think Liam did this one. Louis brought him this far and then they went back home. I guess cleanup is up to us. Zayn, you and me gonna dump this?” 

“Yeah,” Zayn said, and then he turned to her. “Harry, you have your bleach and things in the car?” She nodded and went to get them, carrying the paper sack back inside. She had a piece of tarp as well, and the boys cut off some of the limbs (she didn’t look), then rolled the rest of the body in the tarp. The legs went separately, in a duffle bag.

Zayn and Niall put the body in the trunk, and Zayn came back inside. Harry kissed him without touching his face, as she already had her rubber gloves on. Zayn stepped back, and gave her a small smile. “I’ll be back soon. Do a good job.”

“I always do,” Harry said as she sunk to her knees and got the bleach out. She put a scarf over her mouth first-the amount of bleach that it took to dissolve blood was unpleasant to breathe in. She splashed it on and then got her scrub brush. The blood foamed at first, then turned black. She tried not to think about it, about how it had come out of a person. That wasn’t part of her job.

…

For her, Harry figured it started with horses. She had loved them as a child, and it was the first guess her family had about her gender not being entirely male. She had been a horse girl through and through, and it had never really gone away as an adult. She started going to the races, and at first she won a lot. It was as if her and her picks were on the same side.

But then, it was like her picks left her, she was on her own and she her debts were mounting, but she couldn’t stop. She started to get threatening visits, calls, and she didn’t know what she could do about it. Then one day a huge bastard in an expensive suit told her to come with him, and Harry didn’t go to her bakery job that day. She just got in the waiting car.

She was expecting a bullet behind her ear, but instead she found herself in a very well-furnished office, with a smiling man behind the desk. “Harry? Hello. I’m Louis.” 

“Hello,” Harry said, and she swallowed. She’d heard about him, but never thought she’d meet him in person. Maybe he liked to kill deadbeats like herself personally. “About the money-”

Louis held up a hand. “Sorry. You don’t have to tell me, I know you don’t have enough to cover it. But I wanted to make you an offer. You could work it off, work for me, and we can put this behind us. It might take a bit of time, but I’m sure we can do it. I can give you a choice of places to work.”

“Yeah? Do you have a bakery?” Louis laughed then, and Harry knew what kind of work he was offering. “Oh.” 

“Yeah. I don’t have any positions open at the peep show, but I have a massage parlor that could use some new faces.” Harry knew the other choice would be less good for her health, so she nodded. “Good. Call your job and tell them you have to quit. Mick will take you to the place right away. Do you shave? We can send you to a waxer first if you need it.” 

“Um, I shave, yes,” Harry stammered. Then she got her phone out and made a call. When she hung up, she felt dejected. “I loved that job.” 

“You can get another one like it when this is done,” Louis said. “I know a lot of people, I can set you up somewhere better. But for now, Mick, please take our new friend to Paula’s.” Harry took a deep breath, tears in the corners over her eyes, and Louis shook his head. “Don’t cry. It probably won’t be longer than a year or two. And we’ll protect you. My boys always look after my girls. You’ll be fine.” 

Harry didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded, tears splashing on the carpet, and then Mick led her back to the car. 

Harry didn’t really like being a prostitute all that much. It was repetitive and boring, and she didn’t get to come hardly at all. She supposed it wasn’t surprising that men who had to pay for sex were lousy lays. There were men who looked after them, but they stayed up front, not speaking to Harry or anyone else. Sometimes, the only person who would speak to Harry all day was the Madam’s assistant, when she brought Harry a tea or hot chocolate. Her life off the clock was about as lonely.

One day though, she had to tell a client she couldn’t do anal because she was sore, and he freaked out. “Fuckin’ snobby little tarts! I asked for it and you’ll fucking do it! Fucking faggot! Don’t you tell me no, I didn’t come here for that!” Harry yelled for security, but he was already there and grabbing the guy. 

“That’s it, you’re out,” He said, and he yanked the guy’s pants up for him and put an arm behind his back. Harry covered herself with her robe as this beautiful, dark-haired man hustled her client out the door. She sat down, and the assistant was immediately there with a tea the way she liked. She sipped it, trying to get a handle on her anxiety.

A couple of minutes later, the security bloke was back. “Are you okay?” His hair was slick black, and his eyes were dark pools. He looked like a beautiful stallion of a man, and she nodded, trying to smile for him.

“I’m fine, thank you. He just yelled is all.” 

She watches as Zayn looked her over, probably looking for bruises. Then he nodded. “Okay. If you need me, my name is Zayn, or Zap. Just yell for me.” And then he was gone, and she was waving to thin air. 

…

That night, Harry was the last of the girls to leave, nearly everyone was gone. But as she walked around the side of the building she saw Zayn smoking a cigarette. He looked up at her. “Hey.” 

“Hi Zayn,” she said, and he nodded, taking another drag. “Thank you for getting that bloke out.” 

“Not a problem, it’s my job.” he said, and then he was quiet for a minute. “What’s your name? I never got it.”

“Harry,” she said, and Zayn looked surprised. “What, were you expecting Harriet? I never changed it because I never felt I needed to.” 

“No, sorry,” Zayn said, and he looked adorable embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to assume like that. I like Harry, it’s a good name.” 

“I like it too. Some days it fits more than others.” They stood there for a while, while the chill air blew, and Harry said “Right. I need to go to the underground.” She took a step, and then there was a hand on her arm.

“I’ll walk you,” Zayn said, and it wasn’t a request. Harry went with her new friend, talking about small things, until Zayn pulled her in even closer. “There’s some ice there, careful.” Harry couldn’t believe how sweet this Zayn was. It was rare for someone to treat her like a lady. They got to the tube way too soon, and Zayn stopped at the top of the stairs. “See you tomorrow.” 

Harry gave him a little finger wave and winked. “See you.” Then she went down the stairs and headed home.

…

Zayn didn’t like to think about who he had been, in the past. It was a large reason for him drinking. Drinking made not thinking easy.

He had grown up in a large family, safe and loved, and he had loved to draw. He wasn’t a criminal, but he was a tagger. He loved graffiti art, and he’d almost gotten caught a few times. One time after he’d successfully ducked the police, a few boy he didn’t know came up to him. “Hey, you don’t know us but…would you like to help us out with something tonight?” 

“Sure,” Zayn said. He figured they were tagging a building and needed some help.

‘Something’ turned out to be him acting as lookout for these boys while they robbed what looked like a normal business to him. He was outside, and he was watching the front side. He’d assumed that someone else was watching the back.

He was wrong. 

Before he knew it, there were sirens blaring and the boys he was with came screaming down the alley. Zayn heard a gunshot, and that _really_ terrified him, they were so rare. What kind of place was this? He didn’t wait for any of the other boys to catch up with him, he just ran. Then he got back to his home and holed up in his room. 

Three days later, someone came and got him, took him to see a man named Louis. It turned out the boys had been stealing from him, and that wasn’t a good idea. Zayn was so terrified that he couldn’t hear most of it, but Louis said a lot about _choices_ and _not heavily involved_ and finally how he could work for him, pay him back.

“Pay you back doing what?” Zayn said. He was only sixteen. “I don’t know how to do anything.” Louis looked unfazed.

“You’re a smart lad, you can learn. I don’t think you’re right for street dealing, so not that” He seemed to be considering his choices. “I think I’ll set you up with Jimmy, he can teach you things. I heard you’re good with art, but I don’t have much use for a forger, not yet. Jimmy will teach you how to do security.” Louis sipped his tea. “Oh, and we’re getting you a gym membership. You need to put some muscle on.”

And that was that. He wound up leaving his parent’s house and living in a dirty apartment, working for the biggest gangster in the city. At first he just shadowed some of the older men, gruff types who didn’t give him the time of day. Eventually they began to trust him with more things, and his regular weight lifting made him fitter, if not any more intimidating. 

One day Jimmy rapped on his door around ten at night. “Yeah?” Zayn had said. He’d been up, but playing video games. “Why do you need me this late?” 

“You’re coming along on a ride,” was all he said, and Zayn changed out of his trackies to pants and a button-down. Louis liked it if his help looked nice. 

Zayn got in the car, and Jimmy looked over at him, then nodded his head to indicate the trunk. Suddenly, Zayn knew what kind of ride this was. “Jimmy, I don’t have a weapon,” he said, even though that was the least of the things worrying him.

“I do,” Jimmy said. “You just help keep him still for me.” Zayn just looked forward, not believing what was happening to him, and Jimmy started the car. Zayn hoped he wouldn’t puke in Jimmy’s car, he was very particular about it.

When they stopped, Jimmy looked over at Zayn and nodded, then they got out. When Jimmy opened the trunk, Zayn saw a bound, terrified man looking at both of them in panic. “What do I do?” Zayn said. 

“Drag him out of my car and hold him.” Zayn grabbed for him, and the guy wriggled like a fish. But Zayn was stronger now, even if it didn’t show, and he held him. It didn’t take long-Jimmy got out a long bladed knife and skillfully put him out of his misery. “Okay, now roll him into the ditch.” 

“Oh god,” Zayn said, but he did what he was ordered to do, and rolled the guy down. The weeds covered him nicely, and then they got back into the car. Zayn realized he had no idea who this bloke was, why they killed him, nothing. But he supposed it didn’t matter now. 

Zayn didn’t mean to, but he wound up puking out the door of Jimmy’s car. “I’m sorry,” he said, but Jimmy just shrugged and gave him a small bottle of vodka. “I don’t want to drink your booze, mate,” Zayn said, but Jimmy just pushed it into his hand. 

“It’s yours,” Jimmy said. “You’ll need it later. It helps with getting to sleep at night.” That was a lot of words for Jimmy, and Zayn took the vodka. When he got home, he did drink it before he went to sleep. It didn’t really help all that much.

Not too long after that, he got a bonus, and Louis moved him into a better apartment, in a building he owned. He stopped calling his family, not knowing what he could tell them. And he kept drinking vodka, more of it with every passing year it seemed. Jimmy was right, it helped. It made the little voice in Zayn’s head quiet down, when he was wondering what Louis had seen in him, that made him want to put Zayn to work as muscle. 

Zayn just drifted along, doing what he was told and drinking to cover up his emotions about it.

Then he saw Harry, and he felt something for the first time in forever. He didn’t know what the feeling was, but he was so happy to have them again, he didn’t question it too closely. 

…

Zayn kept meeting Harry after work, and he kept walking her to the tube. It was the best part of his night, and Harry seemed to enjoy it as well. So they kept doing it, and she kept telling him more things, from what kind of art she liked to how she’d wound up at Paula’s. Little things, but they added up to Zayn knowing more about Harry, and that made them important.

One time, when they got to the tube entrance, Zayn leaned in, ready to kiss her. Then he pulled back at the last second, afraid to push it too far. Harry looked confused, and then left. She didn’t wave goodbye either, just took off as if she was disappointed. Zayn walked back to his car, crushed. Maybe she wouldn’t want to walk with him after that. It took extra drinks to put him to sleep that night.

The next day was his day off. He didn’t have much in the way of plans besides TV and vodka, so it was a surprise when the doorbell rang. He staggered to the door, his head hurting, hoping it wasn’t a call. Instead he blinked as he saw Harry in his doorway, holding a couple of bags. “Hi, can you let me in please?”

“Oh. Oh sure.” Zayn got out of her way and Harry went straight to his kitchenette, with the small two-burner stove. She started pulling things out of the bags, and getting his battered skillet out. Zayn could see that she was wearing a dress with a pretty polka-dot apron over it.“Wow. What are you fixing?” 

“Lunch,” she said cheerfully. “Chicken with curry, and rice, and I even had stuff for cookies.” She got some oil and put it into the skillet, then started a pot of water for the rice. “I didn’t know where you lived, so I asked Louis to tell me where you lived.”

“Louis?” Zayn was almost speechless. He would not have trusted Louis to give him the correct directions. He seemed more like the kind of person to send Harry to an abandoned construction site for fun. “You wanted to see me so badly you risked asking Louis?” Harry nodded, a strand of her hair in her face, so Zayn wasn’t sure what her expression was. “Why did you come, really?”

Harry brushed her hair out of her face, and turned to face him. “Did you try to kiss me last night?”

Zayn was silent a minute, then he nodded. “I was going to, and then I got scared. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure if Harry wanted him to be sorry for the kiss, or for not following through. He was a bit of both.

Harry nodded. “Right. Okay, first we’re going to kiss. Then we’re going to fix lunch, and then eat lunch while watching crap telly. Okay?” Zayn nodded, a bit stunned, and then Harry moved in closer and he was kissing her. 

Harry was a bit taller than him, and up close Zayn was more aware of her masculine traits. But it didn’t matter, Zayn didn’t care at all, and he put a hand in her hair, playing with it. It was curly and wild, and fun to play with. She giggled into the kiss, and he smiled in return. He kissed her again, and then pulled back.

“Okay, going to fix us some chicken and rice.” Zayn nodded. The water she’d put on was boiling, so he put the rice on, putting a bit of oil in the pot so it wouldn’t boil over, like his mum did. He didn’t even know he remembered that. Harry had started the chicken, and she had a package of curry. Zayn’s mum would have made hers from scratch, but that didn’t matter. Nobody had cooked for Zayn in years. 

Zayn stepped back. “I’ve got the rice started, I think I’ll go take a shower.” He hadn’t taken one before she showed up, and he knew that he smelled like sweat and vodka. “I’ll be out in about fifteen minutes.” He leaned in and kissed Harry’s cheek before he headed for the bathroom.

Zayn got out of the shower quicker than he thought, and brushed his teeth while he was at it. He came back out in fresh clothes to find Harry putting the chicken and rice on plates. Zayn got a couple of plastic tumblers and filled them with ice and tap water, and sat down to eat. “Thank you for this, nobody ever cooks for me.” 

“Not a problem. I wanted to do something for you. And I wanted to come over, so this seemed like a good reason.” Zayn nodded, even though if Harry had come over empty-handed, he would not have turned her away. 

“Are you going in this afternoon?” Zayn asked, and Harry nodded. “Okay. I can take you if you like, drive you in my car so you don’t have to take the tube from here. It’ll be nicer.” It wasn’t a far drive really, and he had a nice car that he thought Harry might enjoy a ride in. “I need to pay you back somehow for the lunch, anyway.”

“You don’t have to pay me back, but okay. Thank you. I would have had the day off, but Louis wanted a favor for telling me your address.” Harry nibbled at her chicken.

“Course he did. He’s got us where he wants us, I suppose he can ask us anything.” Zayn wasn’t particularly bitter, he knows his situation is partially his fault, but it was true. “Can’t really get union breaks when your job isn’t even legal.” Harry ducked her head and giggled.

“Yes. I only asked because I really wanted to see you. I don’t have many friends.”

Zayn nodded. “Hard to answer when they ask you what you do isn’t it?” 

“Yes. And if they get past that, they might have a problem with how feminine I am,” Harry said. She was trying to keep her tone light, but Zayn could hear the frustration bleeding in under it. “I’d think I made a new friend but soon they’re asking me why I have to wear nail polish, why I have to wear such tight pants or worse, a skirt. It never ends.”

“I love how feminine you are,” Zayn said, and he wondered if he’d gone too far. It might be too much, even if they had kissed and all-but Harry just smiled. 

“Thank you. See, you get it. That’s one reason I like you, you see me, not whatever picture you have in your head. I think-I think you actually see me.” Harry reached across the table, and Zayn took her hand.

“Maybe. I just see a person with so much spirit, even now, even in the parlor,” Zayn said. “In spite of everything, you have this joy about you. That’s what I see.” He squeezed her hand, and Harry held his gaze, large green eyes staring his down. After a minute, she let go. 

“I hope that’s true,” she said, and got up. “I’m going to make the cookies now.” She went back to his little stove and turned on the oven. “I feel like I’m hibernating, at work,” she said, her back turned. “So if you can see that, see me, I’m very glad.” 

“I think so,” Zayn said, and he got up, taking their dishes and rinsing them off for the dishwasher. He stood behind Harry, arms around her waist and watched as Harry mixed up the dough, making chocolate chip cookies in no time. “I don’t think I have a cookie sheet.”

“I brought one,” Harry said, and she pulled one out of one of the bags, and soon they had cookies baking in the oven. Zayn put the kettle on and fixed tea. When the cookies were done, they sat on his couch and ate them with the tea. Harry was sitting close to Zayn, and he put an arm around her. 

“What time do you have to be at work?” Zayn said after they finished off five cookies each. “Do you need to stop by your place with all this stuff?” There was cookie dough left over, and enough chicken and rice for at least another meal. 

“Keep it here,” she said, licking chocolate off her finger. “Keep all of it, that way I can make something again when I come back.” Harry leaned in then and Zayn kissed her, cupping her face. They kissed for another long minute before Harry pulled away. “I guess I should go. I should put some makeup on first, do you mind if I use your bathroom?” 

“It’s kind of a mess, but go ahead. I’ll put up the rest of the food.” Zayn hadn’t noticed that Harry didn’t have on makeup, and it didn’t matter to him. Harry leaned in for another kiss, and Zayn started to put up the leftover food and the dishes in the washer. She wanted to come back. Zayn wasn’t sure why anyone would come see him once. Maybe he should tell her not to bother.

“Okay, I think I’m ready.’ Zayn turned around and Harry was there, with a well-applied sheen of blush and some eyeliner. She looked beautiful, and Zayn tucked his self-hatred away, for now. 

“You look good,” he said. “I want to kiss you again, but it might mess up the job you did. Let me get my shoes on and get my keys.” He went back to his room and got ready, then took Harry by the arm. 

The ride was quiet, Harry softly singing with the music Zayn had on. “Thanks again for coming by,” Zayn said during a lull between the songs. “I don’t know when the last time I had anyone over was. I’ll tell you when I’m off next and you can come back if you want.” 

“I will. And you can come see me if you want as well.” Harry’s voice sounded far-off and wistful, and she put her head on Zayn’s shoulder. “I don’t want to go in tonight. I’m not really in the mood, things have been so nice.” Zayn parked his car behind the parlor and turned to face her.

“You’ll be fine, you can make it. Give me a call when you get home tonight, alright? Just to let me know you’re okay.” Harry smiled at him then, and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Okay, go ahead. Might as well get this over with.” He grinned at her and she smiled back as she left, giving him a finger wave as she went through the employee entrance. 

Just before Zayn started the car again, he saw Louis heading his way. He poked his head out the window and waited to see what he wanted. He didn’t want Louis giving Harry a hard time for being with him, they didn’t do anything but kiss. 

But Louis just bent down and smiled at Zayn. “Did you have a nice lunch? Got to say, surprised me when she came up at my office asking where you lived. Never saw that one coming, even though I saw you walking her down the street on the security cameras.” 

Zayn bit back the obvious question of _When do you have time to look at all the security cameras?_ and instead just nodded. “We had a good lunch,” he said. “It was nice to see her.” Zayn can feel the start of a headache-he hadn’t drunk as much vodka as he normally would have, and he was feeling it. “She said she’ll be back, make the rest of it later.” He had no idea why he’d told Louis that, but in a way Louis seemed to be getting off on the idea of matchmaking them, so he figured he should give him something.

“That’s good. Harry’s a great person, she might be good for you.” Zayn simply nodded and didn’t respond to that, even though he couldn’t figure out why she was wasting time on him. But that wasn’t something he needed to say out loud. He just nodded. “Okay Zayn, don’t mean to keep you, and I need to go myself. Have a good day.”

Zayn should have said something noncommittal, but he said “Thank you,” and Louis smiled, pleased. Then he moved along, and Zayn watched Louis get into his flashy car, the driver a hard-eyed man Zayn had long ago made a point of staying the hell away from. He waited a minute, then started his car and headed back home.

That night, he was half-asleep, drunk, when the phone startled him awake. He didn’t know the number, but he answered it anyway. “Yeah?” 

“Hey Zap.” Zayn sat up a bit, she was using his work nickname. It was a bit disturbing, but at the same time it was nice she remembered. “I got home just fine. Did I wake you up?”

“Little bit,” he said and Harry laughed. “I was almost down for the count. I’m glad you’re all right love. Do you think you can come by soon? I’m working tomorrow, so if not I can just walk you down like always.” 

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” she said. “I might not want to go anywhere after that, so I’ll see you.” 

“Okay. I’m going to go to bed now. Sleep well.” 

“You too,” she said, and then she hung up. Zayn moved off the couch and took his boots off. When he got into bed, he wondered if Harry would be in it soon, and then dismissed the idea, thinking about nothing until he could sleep.

The next day, Harry came in the door with a large coffee and handed it to Zayn. “Tea shop down the street has good coffee too, thought you might like some.” 

“Thank you, that’s very kind,” Zayn said. He sipped it and smiled at her. “It’s good. Okay, see you later.” She gave him her little finger wave and went to the back. Sean, the muscle with him today, looked at the two of them with curiosity, and then at Zayn. Zayn just shrugged and Sean nodded. Zayn was glad he was minding his own business. 

Zayn got a small break and went around the corner for his own surprise. When they were closed and Harry was on her way out, bundled in her wrap, Zayn approached her. “I found a little bakery I liked, and I know you like to cook so…I got you these.” 

Harry took the small baker’s bag and peeked in. “Oh. Doughnuts! Small ones. Thank you!” She picked up one of the doughnuts and nibbled on it delicately, giving the crème filling a little lick. Zayn watched her, glad she enjoyed it, not caring they were in the freezing cold. After she finished one, she looked up at him. “Could you drive me home? And stay with me? I’d like to sleep with you tonight.”

Zayn probably looked a little surprised, but Harry just shook her head. “I only want to sleep though. It’s been a long night. I hope you’re not disappointed.” 

“No,” Zayn said. “No, not at all. I understand. I’d like to sleep with you.” She grinned and Zayn took Harry’s arm and led her to his car, even opening the door for her, which made her laugh. It didn’t take that long to find Harry’s apartment, driving in the dark early morning. 

Harry held Zayn’s hand as she let him in. Zayn looked around-Harry’s apartment was clean and well-kept, and had pictures and art everywhere, mostly of horses. Harry showed him around, and then came in for a kiss. “I’m going to shower before bed,” she said. Then she went back, and Zayn sat down in the front room. Harry had several books on the coffee table, and he wondered if maybe she was too smart for him. He wound up picking one of them up-a book of poems-and was startled when Harry appeared.

“I’m ready for bed,” she said. “You get ready and join me in the bedroom.” Zayn nodded and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and then stripped to his pants. He came to Harry’s bedroom and found her in bed, curled on her side. Zayn carefully got into bed with her and spooned her. She made a happy sound, and he kissed her neck.

“Thanks for agreeing to this,” she said, voice sleepy. “I figured you were interested in me for something other than sex, but this is a good sign.” 

Zayn would like to have sex with Harry, he was half-hard from the touching, but he nodded. “I like you,” he said, quietly. “And things are just starting, really. I don’t mind waiting.” 

“I haven’t had sex outside of work for a while,” Harry said, and Zayn rubbed her hip. She was wearing lacy pants. He wondered if they were uncomfortable with her dick. “It seems strange, almost, doing that for myself.” 

“I’ll be honest, I’ve never been with someone who had a dick before,” Zayn said. He was glad he wasn’t facing Harry, it made this easier to say. “So you might have to coach me a bit.” Harry reached back and put her hand over Zayn’s, squeezing it.

“I will when we get there,” Harry said. “Now I have to sleep. Night, or morning, actually.”

“Sweet dreams,” Zayn said, and Harry sighed, then her breath evened out. Zayn closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep, even though he didn’t have his trusty vodka bottle with him. 

…

When Harry woke up later that day, she got out of bed to put the kettle on. Zayn had been quiet, but she could tell he was restless, maybe a cuppa would help. “Zayn? How do you like your tea? Are you awake love?” She came back to the bedroom and found him sitting up in bed, shaking. “Zayn, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t feel good,” was his answer, and she could see that Zayn was sweating and shaking. “I feel sick, I might need some water more than tea.” Harry hurried over, nearly tripping on her own shoes, and felt his forehead. “Had bad dreams.”

“You don’t have a fever,” Harry said, frowning. “I’ll fix you some water, try that.” She went and got Zayn an ice water, and he drank it in shaky sips. “You were healthy last night, I don’t understand what it could be.” Zayn put the glass down, and frowned. “What?”

“I think I know what it is,” Zayn said, his voice low, even with the tremors. “I didn’t drink last night, I tend to drink a lot. I didn’t want to tell you yet. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Harry.” And then Zayn began to retch and he got up and headed for the bathroom, leaving Harry alone. Harry sighed and went back to the kitchen. 

When she came back, Zayn was crouched in front of the toilet, wiping his mouth with toilet paper. “Brought you your tea,” she said. Zayn started to shake his head and she continued “Put a bit of brandy in it, maybe it will help.” 

Zayn got up on shaky legs, and moved to the couch. Then he took the tea and a couple of biscuits Harry got for him. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I didn’t want to worry you with this. I just, all the boys, we all drink so we don’t think about some of the stuff we do.” 

Harry looked at her sweet damaged friend, with the huge dark eyes and pretty mouth, and sat next to him. “I don’t expect you to be perfect,” she said. “But if you drink this much, you might need to see a doctor. It could be hurting you.”

Zayn didn’t say anything, but he nodded, then took another sip of the spiked tea. Harry got the bottle and held it up. “Do you want some more?”

“Don’t want to go to work drunk,” he mumbled. “I think there’s enough in here to get me through the day. Thank you.” Zayn slowly finished his tea, and Harry sat next to him and held his hand. It was clammy, but Zayn didn’t let go of her, so she didn’t let go either. 

After a minute, Zayn stood up. “I feel better. Can I take a shower? I don’t have any other clothes to wear. Do you want me to drive you?” Harry shook her head, and Zayn frowned. “I can’t take a shower?” 

“Oh, you can do that, of course, but I don’t want you to drive if you’ve been drinking.” Zayn opened his mouth and she said “I know it’s not a lot for you, and that probably nothing would happen, but you can take the underground with me. It won’t hurt, I promise.” 

Zayn smiled softly. “Okay, we’ll do it your way.” Harry grinned back at him, and he leaned down. The kiss was brief, but Harry felt it to her toes. “Okay, I won’t be long.” Then the cheek _winked_ at her before he went back to her bathroom. 

Harry had to sit there and collect herself for a minute before she started breakfast.

…

Zayn felt like maybe he should back off of Harry, now that she knew one of his secrets. But he couldn’t make himself do it. The fact that Harry didn’t try to give him an ultimatum about his drinking might have been one reason. She insisted that Zayn see a doctor, but otherwise left him alone. He did see a doctor, and he was sent out of there with some vitamin tablets, an appointment with a liver doctor, and some information on how to quit drinking. He didn’t quit right away, but he started to cut down, over time. His life was different now with Harry in it, and he didn’t need it as much. 

Actually, it was Harry who pointed it out. “You’re not going through the vodka as fast now,” she said. Zayn looked over at his garbage, and there wasn’t as many liters in the trash, true. She smiled, looking proud, and sat next to him on his battered couch. He took her hand and she put her head on his shoulder. “Are you happier?”

“I am,” he said. “I don’t think I had much in the way of emotions before you met me. I tried not to, but then I saw you.” Harry purred in response, and Zayn squeezed her fingers. “Both got the day off,” he said. The manager of the parlor didn’t even pretend to be surprised when they started asking for the same day off. “Do you want to see a movie?” 

“No. Or maybe later.” Harry lifted her head from his shoulder. “I know we’ve been taking things slow between us, because of what we do, but I want to go back to your room.” Harry looked at him, and Zayn thought he could melt from the intensity of it. “I want you to fuck me, or whatever you want.” 

Zayn watched her as she stood up and toed her shoes off. After a minute, he got up and followed her to his room. “If I’d known it would be tonight, I would’ve brought you some of those candles you like,” he said, and Harry giggled. “You know what I’ve told you, that I haven’t-“

“Been with someone with a dick, yes. But if you fuck me, it’s not much different than anal with a cis girl.” Harry took her skirt off, rolling it down, and then pulled off her top. Zayn decided he should lose a few clothes too, and he was naked and on the bed by the time Harry was ready. 

“Do you want anything else? I can go down on you, before.” Zayn might have never done it, but he’s sure Harry will help him. He fumbled through his nightstand and found condoms and some lube. “Don’t just default to that because you think it’s the only thing I’d want to do.” 

“I do like it, if it’s done right,” Harry said. “But if you want to go down on me I won’t stop you.” Zayn looked her over. Harry was thin, with beautiful thighs and pretty nipples, four of them. He’d seen those before, but this was the first time Zayn had gotten a good look at Harry’s cock. It was almost bigger than his, and Zayn wondered if he could get his mouth around it. 

“Lie down love, I’ll get between your legs,” Zayn said, not wanting his nervousness to show. The smirk on Harry’s face told him she probably sensed it anyway, but she got on the bed, and Zayn stroked a hand down her body and kissed her before moving around until Harry’s cock was in front of his face. He got a hand on it first, stroking. It felt like his, really. Not so bad.

“You gonna suck me love?” Harry said, sounding a bit eager, if not impatient. Zayn giggled and then licked up Harry’s cock, getting a moan and a pull on his hair. He held her cock in place, pulled the foreskin back so he could suck the head.

“Yes, like that,” Harry said, and it sounded like she was losing her breath. Zayn kept going, trying to get a feel for it, and Harry nudged him. He looked up, and she nodded. “Use your mouth and hand together. I like that.” Zayn nodded and did what she said. 

He got into a rhythm moving his hand and sucking her off. After a while, Harry pulled his hair again. “That’s enough, I want you to finger me open and then fuck me. I want to come with you in me. Okay?” Zayn pulled away, wiping his mouth, and got the lube. 

“Okay.”

Fingering Harry open didn’t take that long. It was only a few minutes before Zayn had three fingers sunk keep in her. Harry bucked and moaned, and Zayn kissed her thigh. “Okay, get the rubber on, I’m ready,” Harry said, and she got one and handed it to him. Zayn didn’t waste time getting it on, and soon he was pressing inside of her.

“Good?” Zayn said, hoping she was there with him. She had told him before that she shut down when she was at work, and Zayn didn’t want that to happen. 

“Yes,” Harry said, a little gasp of a word, and she wrapped her arms around him, fingernails scratching his back. He pushed in slowly, Harry enveloping him in tight heat, and he leaned down, kissing her neck. “Go on, you can go harder, I can take it.” 

Zayn grunted in response and moved in, making Harry grab him tighter. Harry was strong, and Zayn knew that-he knew she wasn’t physically a girl-but this was the first time he really felt her strength. He got a good pace going, and Harry gasped and swore and moved under him. It was so intense he could barely stand to look at her, so he dropped his head to her shoulder and pounded in harder. 

“Zayn, Zayn, look at me, look at me baby…” Of course Harry wouldn’t want that, so Zayn raised his head and looked down at her. Harry held his gaze, and Zayn felt himself drop, like he only existed because Harry wanted to look at him. He didn’t know how he could hold on.

“I’m gonna come soon Harry, want me to wank you off?” Harry shook her head and reached between their bodies to grab her cock. Zayn kept going, kept fucking her as Harry wanked herself off in time until she cried out and Zayn felt warm liquid spurting between them. Harry tightened around him, and Zayn’s orgasm hit him like a train, coming inside her until he was collapsed on her, panting into her ear.

“Zayn.” That was Harry, and he thought maybe she’d said it more than once. “I need you to get up and clean us off, please?” Zayn moved enough so that he could see her face. “Go get a flannel?” Zayn nodded and pulled out of her, holding the condom at the base. Then he stumbled to her bathroom, and disposed of the condom. When he came back with a flannel he found Harry sitting up in bed, running a finger through the mess on her stomach. She smiled when she saw him, and Zayn cleaned them up, then got back in bed with her. 

Harry was quiet for a moment, then she looked over at Zayn. “So, that was good. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. You were amazing.” She laughed a bit, and Zayn tipped her chin up with a finger, kissing her. When the kiss ended, Harry curled in closer. “Just…I might love you. I just wanted you to know.” 

Zayn stayed quiet for a long minute, until Harry looked up to see his face. “Zayn? You’re crying. Zayn…” Zayn turned to look at her, wiping at his eyes. “Are you okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it so soon, don’t leave…”

“Not going to leave,” Zayn finally said, taking Harry’s hand. “I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you ever. I just-I can’t believe you said that. I didn’t think anyone could love me, after what I’ve become.” Harry looked at him, brow furrowed, and Zayn said “You know what I do. I do a lot worse than sit around Paula’s while you’re in the back. You have no idea-I haven’t seen my family for years. I didn’t think there was anyone in the world who cared about me. Thank you. And I love you.”

The grin Harry gave him was all sunshine, and kissed the tear tracks on his face. They spent the rest of the night eating takeaway, watching movies, and making plans together. Zayn felt light, almost weightless, and he hadn’t felt that in years. 

…

Harry shivered in the cold as she waited for Zayn and Niall to get back. She’d cleaned up very well, and stashed all the cleaning materials in a plastic bag. Now she just needed for the boys to come back with the car so she could take that to a safe location. She looked down the street, but didn’t see Zayn’s car. She thought maybe she should go back inside, and then the car appeared around the turn. 

“Freezing, get me out of here,” she said when Zayn asked her how she was doing. She threw the bag in the trunk, then got in next to Zayn, Niall in the back. Zayn squeezed her frozen fingers, then started the car back. “Got to go and see the boss?”

“Yep, we called him and we’re heading there next. Late night darling, sorry.” She could hear Niall behind her getting himself a drink, and it made her think of how Zayn was when they first met. She hoped the smell didn’t cause Zayn to crave. He didn’t drink much at all now.

Less than a year after she met Zayn, Harry paid all her debts off and Louis released her from Paula’s, unless she wanted to stay, of course, he had been sure to add. She politely declined that offer, shook Louis’ hand, and left a free person. 

When Zayn got home, they had a nice dinner. “I’m glad you’re out love. I don’t think I could do that by now. I paid off my debts ages ago, but I’m too far in. I don’t know how to do anything else for a living either.” 

“I’ll help you,” Harry said, and Zayn looked perplexed. “I can’t have you getting arrested, can I? I’ll help you after, with clean up. If you can’t leave, then I won’t leave. We’ll be a team.” Zayn tried to talk her out of it, but she refused to budge. Eventually he stopped trying to deter her, and Harry became his partner, in work as well as personally. 

…

When they got to Louis and Liam’s house, Louis seemed pleased and Liam distracted and unhappy. Harry liked Liam, and she knew that Liam would do anything to protect Louis. But Liam still had a lot of conscience, and that couldn’t be good for him. 

At the end, Louis offered them all a room for the night. Niall shook his head and called a friend, going to the foyer. Harry saw the way Louis looked at him, and she figured he might be a bit disappointed. Was Louis going to try to get Niall in his and Liam’s bed, or sneak into Niall’s? Well, either way, it wasn’t happening tonight. And she had her own bed companion to consider. 

The room they chose was beautiful and ornate, a far cry from their neat but thriftily decorated flat. The bed was huge too, and Harry started pulling her clothes off and snuggled down in it. “Come here love, it’s so nice.” 

“You like pretty things, don’t you?” Zayn said, voice teasing, as he got his trousers off. After a minute he was in bed with her, kissing her. “We could have nicer things, if you want.” 

“Gotta save our money,” she said, moaning as Zayn moved down to kiss her nipples, and she scratched her nails down his back. “Zayn….”

“Don’t have any stuff, check the nightstand…” Harry looked and sure enough, there were condoms, lube, and even a small butt plug in there. Louis and Liam were good hosts. Harry grinned at Zayn and handed him a condom and lube. “Thank you darling.” Then Zayn moved between her legs and licked up her cock, his lubed fingers pressing around her hole. 

Harry laid back, smiling at the ceiling as Zayn got her ready. She loved him, she loved her boy so much. She would protect him, she would go to prison for him. Whatever it took. 

Then he moved his fingers inside her and she moaned, and stopped thinking.


End file.
